My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
