I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Please, let me fuck your mom
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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