I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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