Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I need moral support for this bender
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
