If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
