I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
