How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
