I'm so fucking centered right now
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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