I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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