I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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