also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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