I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
id be glad to
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We smell like vodka and hangover
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