Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
