Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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