i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
