I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
