You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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