she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
