my vag is so smooth its legendary
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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