Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I fill condoms, not promises.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
