when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
