Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
