so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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