I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize