I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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