it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
