i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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