He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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