omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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