I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize