It's like God shit irony all over that family
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
