You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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