You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize