The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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