i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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