I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
