i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
