The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
