You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
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She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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