he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
