so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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