she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we're making bets on your personal life
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
