if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
