he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
