Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
