i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
