found the other keg... it's in the tree
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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