I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize