he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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