I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
