everyone is single if you try hard enough
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
