Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
