I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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