Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Farmville is her only friend.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
