I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
