He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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