miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize