I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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