Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
