and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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