I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
