im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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