Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
